am i embarrassed?

hmmm, i used to. before anything, lets trail down memory lane back to when i was 12. some would probably say its a first milestone in life (education) but, thinking back, i think not so (but we’re not here for that, at least for now). before you continue reading, do visit this link first: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msVNUMkmLMk&t=153s ok, now that you’ve watched it (i hope you did), let’s start. the guy singing, if you can’t tell, was actually me and i had my friend played the piano, so, we were kind of a duo for this performance. i’ve always enjoyed singing and when the opportunity arises for a performance before primary school graduation, i decided to take part in it. thinking back, i have no regrets whatsoever, competition was great and er yup just normal i would say. however, i was embarrassed until later. so, when i was in secondary school, i still do enjoy singing, but i was so embarrassed when the footage came about. i don’t know why but it just made me feel so “ew”. i even went and delete the footage of my own recording of the performance and, hence, that’s why you’re watching it from another person’s channel. but now, i am so grateful for the video posted as, that’s the only footage in existence now.

fast forward to today, am i embarrassed about putting myself out? nooooo, in fact, i try to put myself out. that’s why i make tiktok’s, youtube videos and write. however, i certainly am not good at any of those hahaha. if you watch my tiktok and youtube videos, you’ll be bored as hell. but that’s fine. so, why do i even make those in the first place? well, i’m almost mostly alone (when uni started out) and its so “annoying” for me, thus making those gave me an outlet to express myself, talk to myself and stuff. now, i start writing, and i do appreciate engagement and interaction with people that reads my shit, oh well, you gotta stick around a little longer when you read tho, i sometimes feel like vsauce hahaha going off track or just not understanding what i am writing in the first place. but ye, going back to the topic, i most certainly am not embarrassed by whatever i’m doing and erm, i just try to live life and do whatever i want these days (at least for now, before school starts again).